


The Two Fools of Skyhold

by the_dabbler



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Class Differences, Class Issues, F/F, F/M, Other, Slow Burn, Trans Inquisitor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-16 15:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 17,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_dabbler/pseuds/the_dabbler
Summary: Josephine and the Inquisitor, mad crushing. super slow burn.Josephine has everything under control, except this mad crush on the Inquisitor, and it's seriously throwing her off her game, so she hides it like only the Ambassador can.  The Inquisitor has this mad crush on Josephine and pretty much everyone but Josephine knows it, because she's too busy trying to keep her own crush under control.Originally an exercise to explore Josephine's character - I felt like she's such a badass woman in the rest of her life that the depiction of her in-game, specifically pertaining to the duel/post-duel scenes, felt out of character and/or not fleshed out well. Personally, I felt like the dialogue options were both just as likely to lead to the break up ire. I didn't go AU and rewrite the scene, but i did try to self correct by writing some post-duel, couch-snuggling continuation. Then I went back to see if I could fill in what such a self-actualized woman's inner dialogue would be if she found herself crushing this hard on anyone. I eventually had to define the Inquisitor, and this is what came out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't read too much into the title -- I didn't have one until AO3 made me think of one in order to post, and that's what came up; it's only a nod to the Bard (Shakespeare) and any coincidental similarities with The Two Gentleman of Verona in name only. I didn't in any way consciously use it as inspiration.
> 
> It starts off really slowly, as in, not much dialogue or real interaction, because I didn't feel like rehashing the cutscenes that much and it didn't make sense for Josephine and the Inq to have too much interaction before Skyhold. So the first few chapters are mostly just insights into character thoughts and motivations from existing game scenes; stuff I felt was necessary to establish for character development and progression. And as of right now some of the chapters are just plain unfinished, which frankly, I may or may not get around to actually completing. There are maybe a few original scenes while still in Haven. It doesn't get really lively with many original scenes and all the feels and stuff until after the House of Repose missions start. I'm sporadically posting and revising chapters; it does go all the way to the culmination of the romance with some post duel scenes as of now, but the middle is all a mess right now. There are scenes I think will come that I haven't imagined yet, what is there isn't finished, blah blah blah. Bear with me. (Brianna, this is all your fault.) Specifically, I'm planning on fleshing out a lot more of the class division between the Inq and pretty much everyone else. 
> 
> Oh and mad props to brightstarff for writing "Lady Montilyet's Impressions of One Frustrating Herald" which I found after I'd written many of my own chapters. They very closely captured the essence of my imagined Josephine, and did it superbly. If I'd found it before I started writing, I may never have felt the need to start this project. Go read it.
> 
> Also, I'm very new to fanfic; new to reading, totally new to writing it - this is my first. Please try to be kind, but any advice technical or creative is more than welcome. - For that matter, I'm also new to DA fandom. Inquisition was my first DA game so lore corrections are also welcome, though I did try to use the wiki as much as I could. 
> 
> Finally, any self-identified femmes (that's a specific queer identity, fyi) that want to offer insight into character development for Josephine are very much invited to do so, as the author is trans-identified, genderqueer, masculine of center and may be in need of checking. None of the femmes in my life will have anything to do with video games and can't really help out here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Herald and Josephine lay eyes on each other for the first time

Eli walked with Cassandra to the back of the Chantry building. Voices could be heard arguing from the room at the end of the hall. When they stopped to discuss the mark at the end of the hall, everyone in the room stopped talking as if waiting, or maybe listening or both. Walking in with Cassandra, Eli saw Leliana with Cullen, and a noble woman of some rank, given her chain of office. Eli tried not to stare.  
  
The noble was strikingly beautiful, but carried herself with the confidence of one who didn't have to trade on it. She was introduced as the Ambassador, which explained the chain. Lady Josephine Montilyet. Orlesian name, but thick Antivan accent, Eli noted. She was dressed in the style of an Antivan merchant prince, though with several feminine touches. No coat, her waistcoat was cut with a plunging neck line, and she wore an extravagant blouse with billows along the sleeves. Her breeches were also cut looser than a man's style, though you could barely see them beneath the generous knee-length waistcoat. She cinched her waistcoat with an interesting rigid wrap of some sort, which seemed to double as an underbust corset-belt, as Eli noticed she didn't seem to be wearing anything else to support her rather clearly ample breasts, even under all that fabric. Finally, the whole ensemble was finished off with a sash worn in an offset triangle over the hips that matched her blouse. Eli'd never seen any noble woman dressed in such a manner, and even all the more surprising, an Antivan. The Antivans were more rigid about their gender roles than anywhere in Thedas. Eli was more than a little intrigued.  
  
\-----  
  
Josephine took a deep, but subtle breath. Not that Cullen would have noticed if she'd made a dramatic sigh of exasperation at that moment. Leliana, on the other hand, might have already noticed, despite being locked in what seemed like a mortal, though only verbal, combat with Cullen, debating whether to ally with the mages or templars. Josephine was more than just a little frustrated with them both. It's not like making a choice mattered right now since neither side was at all interested in the Inquisition.  
  
Just as the two of them seemed to have run out of steam and there was a blissful moment of repose in the room, Cassandra brought the so-called Herald into the war room. As introductions went around, Josephine was mesmerized. It's not like the Herald was particularly handsome. Actually, they were kind of boyish. But there was something about this person that Josephine couldn't quite put her finger on that she found... attractively intriguing.  
  
There Eliaster stood in front of them all, wearing the ill fitting clothes that Josephine had had to guess at the sizes when they brought them back from the breach, a little too tight here, a little too big there; they couldn't have the Herald of Andraste wandering around in battle-stained servant's clothes after all. And yet, despite being short of stature for a human, their new Herald seemed to fill the room. Quietly confident, if unpolished in manner, she thought. Comfortable questioning people they would have been serving just days ago. Who was this person? Spy, assassin? Cassandra had reported that Eliaster had been woefully untrained in battle, though seemed to have at least a keen sense of survival. Apparently they had grabbed a dagger off a corpse and managed to fend off darkspawn rather crudely and desperately, though apparently fairly bravely, given their lack of skill. So probably not assassin. Leliana and Cassandra had both concurred with that assessment.  
  
Josephine knew that Leliana was leaning toward spy, since it seemed there was next to nothing known about them besides that they had been servant in the Haven Chantry before the Conclave. But Leliana was prone to being suspicious; it was her job, and it had become too much her nature. Josephine had some training as an Orlesian bard, and so it wasn't naivete that told her that this person didn't feel like a spy. It was more that Josephine had a way of feeling people out, intuitively. It's part of what made her good at diplomacy. And nothing about this person felt like spy. There was something particularly guarded about Eliaster though. She did consider however that it could just be that they had just been set free from prison after some ruthless interrogation, and then pushed into mortal combat with darkspawn by the very people in this room. Still, good as she was at the grand game, it was always possible that she could be wrong. It would be wise to be wary, until they knew more about Eliaster.  
  
On the other hand, of course, it was clear to all that there was no way that Eliaster could have created the mark. They had no magical tendencies, and it was preposterous to think that they had anything to do with creating the Breach. Josephine wasn't terribly religious, but she did have faith in the Chant. So she agreed with Cassandra: whether it was Andraste that had been seen in the rift or not, Andraste had chosen this person to bear the mark. She had to have faith in that, at least. Time would have to show them all why.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pronoun Conversation

Before they left to find Mother Giselle, Eli knew they were going to have to have the pronoun conversation with the Ambassador, so they delayed heading straight out and went in search of her office.  
  
Josephine looked up from the letter she'd been writing to a Fereldan lord asking for aid for the refugees in Haven. “Yes, my lord?”  
  
Eli winced. “If you have a moment, Lady Montilyet?  
  
“Of course,” she said, looking up but continuing to write. Eli thought it was kind of amazing how she could do that. They could see she was still writing in perfectly straight lines, while looking right at Eli.

“I wanted to talk to you about my titles. I was hoping you could help me.”  
  
“Your titles? You are the Herald, of course, but I'm afraid the Inquisition isn't going to be able to award you lands, or nobility, or – ”  
  
“No, Ambassador, that's not what I meant,” Eli interrupted. Josephine put down her quill. “I was referring to the … gendered nature of the titles people use for me.” Josephine looked a little puzzled.

“I mean, as in he vs she, or Lord vs Lady – ”  
  
An embarrassed flush came over Josephine's face. “Oh, I sincerely apologize; you would prefer Lady?” she said, quizzically.

“Uh, no. Sorry, that's my fault; I put it like that, as if it was one or the other. I, uh, I actually want people to use non-gendered terms. As in, 'they'.”  
  
Josephine knew that there were people like this, but she'd never actually known one, that she was aware of. So it wasn't a completely foreign idea to her. Still, this was going to be a special effort getting other people to accept it.  
  
“Of course. But, I'm not sure how to replace Lord or Lady. I'm afraid there just isn't a non-gendered equivalent for that – ”  
  
“No. I suppose there isn't,” Eli interrupted. “That's alright. I don't really like the idea of being called a noble title anyway. I guess people will just have to stick to 'Herald,' if they must use a title. Otherwise, Eliaster, or 'they' in the third person will have to suffice. Do you think you can help me make that happen around here at least?”

“Yes, of course, my – Herald; though I was going to say that 'Your Worship' is also appropriate for the Herald - I will make sure everyone knows, not just here, but throughout Thedas. We will make that happen. Please be sure to inform me if there are... slow learners.”  
  
“Thank you, Lady Montilyet, I will.” Eli started to walk out, but then turned to add, “Also, don't hesitate to ask me about... um, whatever you might need clarification on, yes?”  
  
“Yes. Thank you, your worship, I will get to work informing everyone right away.”  
  
Closing the door behind them, Eli thought that went surprisingly well. She didn't even balk once at the idea aside from needing a 'noble' title replacement, which was a legitimate question, since there isn't one. Nor did she start asking why or how, or god forbid the whole 'what's down your drawers' thing, not that she would, she's obviously too refined to do that. And she didn't make excuses for other people, as if it wasn't possible to get everyone to do it. She just said okay, she'll get everyone to do it. End of conversation. Like Eli was asking for extra blankets or something. _Truly unusual noble,_ Eli thought _._

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli watched DuRellion get his ass handed to him by Josephine and likes what they saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't been able to bring myself to fully flesh the DuRellion scene out. Might get back to it eventually.

 

As Eli opened her door at the back of the Chantry, they found the Ambassador in a heated discussion with an Orlesian noble. She introduced the noble as the Marquis DuRellion. He was apparently trying use the Divine's death to lay claim to Haven kick everyone out. _Typical. Leave it to a noble to use calamity and chaos to their own advantage._ Eli knew his kind. They'd watched many a conversation like this one from the edges of the room as a servant. Nobles always liked to cite the law as justification, or the lack of one, in their arguments with each other.

Eli tried to help the Ambassador out by saying that the Inquisition was founded by both the left and right hands of the Divine, but she took the ball and ran somewhere totally unexpected, and utterly effective. _Ha! If only they could have seen beneath the mask! His face must have been priceless! Duel with Cassandra for insulting her honor; must've scared the shit out of him._ Eli thought the Ambassador was brilliant. _Couldn't have sent him scuttling out with his tail between his legs any better. She's good. Handled him like a master; super quick to riff off me and my not so diplomatic way of talking and spin it into a detente, just like that. Super graceful, too. Turned the tables on him all charm and smiles and everything. Slick. Totally slick. Kinda hot, too._

As Josephine was responding to the Herald's apology for intruding, she considered how the Herald had performed in the exchange. She noted the Herald didn't opt for a more aggressive attitude with DuRellion, though it was clear to her that the Herald felt nothing but disdain. It was measured, and fairly astute to take the tack of using the Divine's left and right hands. She also noted the quiet confidence she had observed when they first met. It occurred to her again that the Herald may be a spy; she made a brief mental note of it but left it at that for now.   
  


 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli tries to get to know Josephine, but feels like she gave them the cold shoulder.  
> Josephine kinda likes the Herald, but remains a little wary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just the bare bones here. it's relatively unfinished. just posting as another place holder.

 

Returning to Haven again from the Hinterlands, Eli headed to see Minaeve with some of the gross odds and ends, literally, that they'd picked up in the field. Eli thought it was downright bizarre that the Ambassador shared an office with a creature researcher, smelly business as it was, but so be it. Besides, Eli was glad for the excuse to enter Josephine's office, eager for the chance to find out more about her. But once there, Eli felt a little nervous. Chatting with Minaeve was easier than speaking to the Ambassador, or at least it felt like it would be, since Eli could feel Josephine's eyes burning a hole in their back as they were talking to Minaeve. 

As the Herald was speaking to Minaeve, Josephine caught herself wanting to just pretend to be writing so that she could eavesdrop on the Herald's interaction with the researcher. But she daren't waste the paper. All Haven's resources were so precious. She grabbed a book from the corner of her desk and pretended to look something up.  
  
Josephine liked the Herald despite everyone's suspicions. For a person so unprepared to be thrust into world events, they seemed to have an innate social grace. She noted the Herald always seemed genuinely interested and empathetic towards everyone, and the researcher was no exception. They didn't have the polish of one trained in the Game, nor the veneer of duplicity, but they seemed to always find just the right thing to say to people – whether it was to lift their spirits, their confidence or to console. Or even admonishment. They'd said just the right thing with DuRellion to give her the opening she had needed to shut him down. Maybe the Herald really was chosen by Andraste. They certainly seemed to be just what was needed. Still, she knew she needed to keep her guard up. The advisors hardly knew anything about this person's history yet, though she was sure Leliana would find out eventually, and if there was one thing she learned from her years in Orlais, it was that you can't trust anyone until you understand their motivations. Knowing who and where someone comes from goes a long way in that regard.  
  
Wrapping up with Minaeve, Eli summoned the courage to speak to the Ambassador. Eli asked a few mild questions about how she knew Leliana and what she used to do before. Josephine was polite, but fairly brief, and sent Eli off under cover of dedication to duty. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm either. Just sort of perfunctory.

Eli wasn't sure if Josephine was just stressed out-- after all, legitimately, there had to be a lot on the Ambassador's plate-- or if she didn't like Eli. Isn't that what dislike must look like coming from a diplomat? And if it was dislike, was it because Eli was just a servant? Or was it because Eli was genderqueer/trans? Class or gender shit. Sometimes there's no way to know which it is when they're polite about it. Eli tried to shrug it off. It wasn't like this kind of shit didn't happen all the time. _Who knows, maybe she really was just super swamped._  
  


 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family backstory convo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh, so this chapter is continually undergoing revision right now. Maybe I'm done, or maybe I'll put a bunch of stuff I pulled out back in again. Not sure yet. I'm struggling with pacing issues.

Returning from the Hinterlands, after recruiting Horsemaster Dennet, Eli received a message that the Ambassador needed to meet. Eli was excited, even though it was probably just some kind of boring business. It was an excuse to talk to the Ambassador again outside the war room, and see she would maintain her detached reserve, or maybe they could get her to talk a little more.  
  
Whenever Eli walked into her shared office with Minaeve, Josephine couldn't help but be distracted by them. Eavesdropping on their now rather mundane conversations about creature parts had become practically de rigueur. She found the Herald's presence inexplicably exhilarating, and it kind of disturbed her. She made sure not to look up from the letter she was writing to Lord Denerim.

Finishing up with Minaeve, Eli turned to Josephine, who seemed almost too engrossed in whatever she was writing to have even noticed Eli standing in front of her desk, until Eli spoke.  
  
“Lady Montilyet, I was told you wanted to speak to me?”  
  
“Ah yes, Herald, there is a matter that requires attention. Forgive my forwardness, but may I speak frankly?”  
  
“Of course. I'd prefer it actually,” Eli responded, curious now.

“It is the matter of your history. We know next to nothing about you, aside that you came from Tevinter. It is my job to allay fears and rumors among the nobles of both Fereldan and Orlais, and you can understand their reservations about a Tevinter?”  
  
“A servant, no less,” Eli smirked. “Indeed.” _Oh, it's this conversation. I was wondering how long it would take before we got around to it._  
  
“Uh, yes, that too.” Josephine appreciated Eli's candor. “So you understand that I'm not so much interested in prying, but I do need to know where you came from, where you grew up, who your family is, et cetera.”  
  
Eli spoke in a bland and matter of fact tone, sounding a bit like a tranquil. “Well, I assure you, my family is of no importance whatsoever. My mother was a slave to a non-magical but wealthy merchant. She became pregnant by someone in the household, I'm not really sure who, to be honest. It resulted in me. I was a slave in that house until I was 15, when my mother died, and I ran away.”  
  
Josephine wasn't exactly shocked, but this wasn't what she was expecting. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. “My... well! That... is … an Andrastian legend in the making, isn't it?”

Eli ignored her and continued in the bland tone of one recounting an inventory. “I had to change my name of course. So that's probably why the Nightingale hasn't been able to dig anything up on me. I pretty much did whatever I had to to get as far away as I could, as fast as I could. There are things I'm not proud of. I stole sometimes. I fucked people I wouldn't normally choose to have sex with. I lied. A lot. A lot of lying. I changed my name, several times, actually. It was years, but eventually, I ended up here, in Haven. The Chantry here was so … well on the fringes, that they didn't ask too many questions about where I came from, and they needed servants, and I needed work. Obviously, I left out the details, but that's the crux of it.”  
  
“Well. The nobles will be glad to hear you're certainly no agent of the Imperium,” Josephine said quietly, almost more to herself than to Eli. _Rote tone, as if memorized. Lying? No, if they're lying, they're terrible at it. And we can easily verify. No, it's more likely trauma..._ Though she could use some more information, she decided rather than press for more, she had enough, for now. The similarity to Andraste's legend would go a long way by itself.  
  
Speaking up, she continued, “Well, perhaps we'll focus on the escaped slave part, and we'll keep the details vague. I'll handle the subject of your past carefully, Herald.”  
  
All these years, Eli had never told anyone all of it. In fact, this was more than they'd told any one person. These past few years in Haven, Eli had kept to theirself, not making friends, not making enemies, just staying as invisible and as solitary as possible. During the years on the run from Tevinter, Eli had adopted a Free Marcher accent, and had managed to get away with not divulging much; usually just claiming to be from the last place they had stayed longer than a few days.  
  
So, Eli nodded, relieved she didn't ask for the details, and then tried to ease the conversation away.

“Tell me. Do you believe I was saved by Andraste at the Temple of Sacred Ashes?”  
  
Josephine had never been devout, but she was raised with the Chant and she believed in its doctrine, if not how the Chantry as an institution performed. “I should much like to believe so, Your Worship. The Miracles Andraste performed were so long ago, they’re difficult to picture. If it were truly her in the Fade who saved you… Well, in any case, many already believe you walk in the Maker’s light.”  
  
As Eli began to ask more questions, Josephine knew Eli was shifting the conversation toward her, and she thought it only polite to be a little more forthcoming on her part this time, after delving into what were obviously traumatic memories of theirs. Still, when the Herald continued to ask question after question, asking about Leliana again, about her family, she started to feel as though it wasn't just deflection. Then it was over, and the Herald abruptly took their leave. The room suddenly felt empty and cold. Josephine glanced over at Minaeve who seemed utterly absorbed in some nasty guts of something or other, muttering to herself.  
  
_How do they do that? One minute, they're clearly traumatized, and the next minute they've made me feel like I'm the center of the world._  
  


 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lyrium contracts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really rough sketch

One day after lingering in the war room with Leliana to sing Scout Harding's praises, Eli walked into the main hall to find the Ambassador securing a contract for lyrium from a dwarf clan.  
  
\-----  
Inquisitor Journal Entry:  
Stopped to talk to the Ambassador today. Talked about the Chantry providing common ground for negotiations across borders. Called her lovely and selfless when I asked her about going into politics; I think she actually blushed. I can't believe she's not used to compliments, she's gorgeous. People must flatter her all the time, trying to get something, if not in her pants. And last time I said something even mildly flirtatious – and more like complimentary – she just brushed me off and told me to get serious. I think … I think maybe she's starting to like me. Which, I wouldn't complain, she's hot and all, but she's a noble, and everyone knows, nobles are fickle.  
\-----  
  
Josephine found herself uncharacteristically getting carried away. She was talking just a little too much. And she wasn't watching enough. She kept catching herself dropping her guard, and then bringing it back up only to find in a few minutes that she'd dropped it again. When the Herald left, Josephine chastised herself. _What is wrong with me?_ she wondered. _Am I that exhausted, I can't keep to my training? But somehow, I feel safe... Maybe it's too safe. Maybe this is a red flag. Or maybe... No. I need to talk to Leliana about this later._

\-----

Leliana eyed Josephine with a little too much amusement for Josephine's taste. “Josie, I do believe you are crushing on our Herald.”

“What, me? No, don't be ridiculous!”

Leliana didn't dignify Josephine's defensiveness with a direct response. Instead, she responded, “Well, it's true that our Herald seems to have a natural charisma that draws people in. And you are right, of course, to be wary. But my dear Josie, I have yet to see anyone make a fool of you yet. If your gut response is to trust them, I rather think you should trust yourself, if not them. I would go with it, for now. And, if it makes you feel any better, I'll keep an eye on our Herald. And you.”  


 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the run, Josephine has to admit something's up

On the path out of Haven, Josephine's thoughts were scattered. The adrenaline of flight was still coursing, but it was starting to wane. She considered what would become of the Inquisition now, as the Herald would surely die tonight, if they hadn't already. _If they hadn't already_ , she thought again, and she started to feel a wave of sorrow coming on. She pushed it back by thinking about practical matters. _How do we leverage a martyrdom? Who can we get to take us in?_ But the thought of the Herald trickled in again. She began to realize this wasn't just a feeling of despair for the Inquisition, for the world, this was something _personal_... she couldn't go there. _Besides,_ she thought, _whatever personal loss I feel for this person I barely know pales in comparison to just about everyone else here._ She found a refugee to console as they trudged through the snow.

\---  
  
Josephine and Leliana were quietly talking, trying to hobble together a plan, when they heard Cassandra's shouts. _It couldn't be,_ Josephine thought, _how could the Herald have survived?_ She was up and running toward the commotion without any need for an answer now.   
  
After the Herald was brought in and the healers had started their tending, Josephine had a moment of solitude. Her mind was racing. This changes everything of course. Having a live hero, so much better than a martyr at this juncture. But her Bard training was also kicking in, a training that had taught her to be aware of her own tells, as well as in others, and the first step in being aware of your own tells is to be aware of what you have to tell. So she recognized that she was also relieved. Deeply, emotionally, personally _,_ relieved. She was just starting to go down the usual road of arguing with herself about what that might or might not mean, when Cullen and Cassandra's discussion turned into an all out shouting match. _Andraste, don't they realize the whole camp can hear them? Duty calls._   
  


 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skyhold, finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another sketch. Also, there's obviously a missing chapter with Krem - to be added sometime.

Inquisitor Journal entry:  
  
Krem's full of shit. I asked Josephine to take a turn with me around Skyhold, and she flat out shut me down.  
  
\---  
  
When the Inquisition reached Skyhold, it seemed like there was an infinite amount to be done. She barely stopped to sleep – the only thing that kept her from falling asleep at her desk some days was propriety. While Cullen and Cassandra took on managing the structural repairs, Josephine still needed to procure the materials. There were expeditions to finance, and ever growing mouths to feed. But something more than population was growing as well, and Josephine knew it.   
  
At this point, she was well aware that out of the corner of her eye, she always watched the Inquisitor walk through her office on the way to or out of the war room, even if she didn't look up. That she couldn't help but smile whenever she heard their laugh. Or whenever she heard them jumping down the hallways instead of just walking. Or that awful way they always sat with their legs spread and their elbows on their knees! That she was beginning to adore. This really was getting out of control, and she needed to get it locked down before... before something bad happened. Leliana was so right, as always. She was crushing, and crushing like she'd never crushed before. By Andraste's tears, before long she was going to start acting like Yvette, Maker forbid. She'll never live this down. She imagined Leliana's endless mocking. Of course, it had to be the Inquisitor. The epitome of a fairy tale hero crush. This was ridiculous. _She_ was being ridiculous. This had to stop. She was a grown woman. And there was so much work to do. She couldn't afford to continue to entertain these childish thoughts, not with so much at stake, she told herself. _No, I must focus. Too much depends on me, on my ability to see clearly. No more of this foolishless_. It didn't really work, but it helped her get through the day's pile of work.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the cutscene where Josephine ends up in the Inquisitor's quarters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> journal entries for each

Wow, I walked in on Leliana and Josephine talking about some Nevarran and the next thing I know, Josephine's in my quarters talking my ear off. She's actually got some hilarious stories, even though I get that they were all headaches for her as ambassador. And, she's completely captivating. It was a treat to just see her talking like a normal person for once. Or mostly normal. Like still a noble, just without the diplomat side. It was nice. Felt like … friends, I guess. Have to admit, I wish it was more.   
  
\---  
  
 _The Inquisitor came to see me today,_ she wrote in her journal. _I don't dare use their first name, as they requested. Not here. If I do it here, it'll become real, not just out of social grace to respect their wishes. If I do it here, it'll be intimate. I'll make it more than it means in reality. Maker knows, I'm already teetering on the edges of reality. I talked too much today. Aside from the fact that I did feel relieved to get so much off my chest, I acted like such a school girl, prattling on and on. What must the Inquisitor think of me? I... I could barely drag myself away. I admit it. I wanted to stay. Something about them makes me want to be … near them. It's more than just sexual. It's … something makes me feel safe. Safe enough to prattle, safe enough to... I don't know, just be. It's soothing, even with the sexual edge. As if the soothing is deep down, and the sexuality is just on the edges, sharp as they may be.  
  
If Leliana is right that I should trust my instincts, I don't feel any duplicity on their part. It seems – no, it feels – genuine. But it certainly cannot be anything but platonic on their part. They are proving to have such natural leadership skills. And a good leader knows that providing some light emotional support to their ambassador is just as important as defending their compatriots in the field. But I think their goal is to be actually friends. Not just colleagues. But nothing more. I have to keep reminding myself of that. And, of course, that's mutual. _~~_I enjoy_~~ _Stop that. Of course I enjoy all kinds of things. I want us to be friends as well. If only I could just get control of myself._

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> random Inquisitor journal entry

I think Leliana caught me eying Josephine in the war room today. I can't stop looking at her. Except when she looks at me. The second she looks at me I look away. I don't even know why. I don't mind if she sees me. Or I think I don't mind. The way her hips sway when she's talking. Or the way she waves her quill around when she's talking. The way her lips move when she's talking. Sometimes I catch a whiff of the scent of her hair and I … just want her. I don't even know exactly what I want. It's not as clear as just wanting to fuck her. It's like … like I just want to keep smelling her. This is so weird.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pre- Of Somewhat Fallen Fortune/House of Repose story line

Josephine considered what to do about her family's situation. She was so loathe to ask the Inquisitor for help, but she could see no way around it. It simply had to be done.  
  
_Oh, it's so … needy. Not to mention rude. But if I ask Leliana, they way she's acting these days, she's just going to start killing people in the shadows. No. For the sake of my family, I can endure this... this humiliating injury to my pride. I must. Even if the Inquisitor thinks I can't handle my own family's affairs, or worse, that I'm unqualified to handle the Inquisition's affairs by extension, it simply must be done. Or even, the worst, that I like to act the damsel in distress as some awful flirting device. No, they won't think that. I haven't flirted with the Inquisitor. Have I? No. But even if they do, I must endure it.  
_

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere mid-Of Somewhat Fallen Fortune.  
> completely original scene: Eli needs a reality check from Sera

Eli strolled into the Herald's Rest, the lilting strains of “Sera was never” filling the Tavern. Eli knew Sera hated it, but Eli loved this song. It never failed to bring a smile. With a nod to Krem, Eli went up the stairs to Sera's room.

Sera was muttering something about creepy minstrels. “Oi, Ink Pot, watch where you're trodding!”  
  
Eli looked down. There were beads everywhere; but then Eli realized they were laid out to form a capital “D”. Eli looked quizzically at Sera.

“Have you suddenly started performing magical rituals of some sort?” Eli teased.  
  
“Ew! No! It's... I was just...”  
  
Eli shrugged. “Never mind, I don't think I actually want to know. I do want to get your opinion on something, though.”  
  
Sera's eyes narrowed in suspicion for a moment, and then she looked delighted. “Well isn't this a slap in the arse? Come to ask _me_ for advice on how to get up Ruffles' breeches, have you? Wonders really do never cease around this crazy place.”  
  
“How did you know that's what I – ”  
  
“Oh Ink Spot, if you get any more mushy when it comes to the Ambassador, we'd have to serve you up for morning porridge. What else could you want to talk about, she's all that's ever on your mind.”  
  
“It's that obvious?”  
  
“Cuz it's not obvious that you stop talking whenever she gets within sight and pretend like you're not looking at her? And as soon as she leaves you get that dreamy, lost look until someone snaps you out of it? Uh, yeah, Ink, it's that obvious,” Sera snorted.  
  
“Does everyone know?”  
  
Sera's laughter rippled out the window.  
  
Embarrassed, Eli took that to mean yes. “Well, shit.”  
  
“Alright, so everyone knows. Except, she doesn't know, does she? And that's why you're here? Why don't you just grab her on the way out of the war room, give her that dreamy look of yours and then ram your tongue down her throat?”  
  
“Maker, Sera, that's not what I …” Eli sighed, realizing a little belatedly that Sera was just joking. Kind of. “I came to ask you if you think I'm being crazy.”  
  
“What, cuz she's a noble, you mean?”  
  
Eli nodded, lips pressed tight in not quite a grimace, afraid of the answer. Sera sighed, and became uncharacteristically serious. And almost soft.  
  
“You know, she's not really like the others, is she? She actually cares about the little people. She makes sure everyone gets the same food, doesn't she? Not like all fancy roast birds for the lah dee dah, and mucky porridge for the rest of the poor sods. And she comes 'round herself nearly every week with that tablet of hers asking everyone right down to the stable boys if they have what they need – and actually gets it for them if they don't. Not to mention she's not one to be afraid to put the mucky mucks right in their place, yeah? She's all proper, and all that, but she's a good egg. Some nobles'd have their way with you behind closed doors in the blink of an eye, but the second they're in front of everyone else you're shite. You're the Big Ink now, so it wouldn't ever be quite like that, but I don't think she'd care where you came from. And, yeah, officially, nobles do have to get with nobles, but if anyone would be willing, and could figure out how to get away with not doing that without having to throw it all away, I'd be the first to put money on her.”  
  
“So you think it's okay? I'm not trying to rise out of my station?”  
  
“Inky, you're the shit now. The Big Ink. The only higher you can go is to become the next Divine.”  
  
“That would be laugh wouldn't it?” Eli chuckled, and Sera joined in. “But seriously, Sera, you of all people know, nobles are fickle, and bloodlines – ”  
  
“Ink, I already said, she's not like the rest. If she likes you, she's gonna stick by you. No matter what the rest of 'em think about where you came from and who your family are. Now get out of here and stop mooning, unless you want to moon the tavern with me from the stairs!” She paused for a second as if maybe Eli might actually say yes, but then she went on. “Right, no. Anyway, seriously, if you don't do something about this now after making me go on and on so I'm almost as mushy as you, I'm gonna have to tell her myself. Maybe I'll leave a pair of your self-love soiled drawers on her desk or something with a note saying 'thinking of you'!”  
  
Eli laughed. Eli knew Sera wasn't completely serious, but just to be clear, “No, that won't be necessary, thank you. Besides, if you do that I might have to speak to Dagna on your behalf,” they added good naturedly on the way out the door. As Eli turned and passed the tables on the balcony they heard Sera shouting at them from behind, “Oi! Don't you...” before the tavern noise drowned out whatever followed.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post- Assassination attempt mid house of repose

As the dead, would be assassins were being carried out of her office, Josephine considered the Inquisitor's reaction.   
  
_Concerned, but not overbearingly protective. They trust Leliana to do her job, as she obviously did, frightening as it was for me, her agents were there before anything could happen. There was no outburst that Leliana failed, or barking out orders for more guards.  
  
_ Josephine appreciated that about the Inquisitor. Calm confidence, in self, and in others. A true leader. She literally forced herself to stop there; she picked up the next letter in her stack of letters on her desk. After attending to it however, she realized she actually was a bit shaken. She thought, _maybe this is crazy to go to a crowded place like the tavern, but I have all of these Liana Shadows, and I think I need a drink, and some wicked grace. I should find Varric.  
  
_ It didn't take Varric long to convince her of the benefits of a more exclusive game, with just the companions and advisors. _Oh, the idea of winning that awful ragged coat off Cullen! Too tempting to pass up, and a great way to shake off all the ugliness of the day.  
  
_ And, she scarcely let herself think it consciously, but it slipped through _– and how lovely to spend some down time with the Inquisitor._  


 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Winter Palace; the gang congregates at Herald's Rest. Still in the middle of Of Somewhat Fallen Fortune

“Another round!” Bull shouted, raising his empty cup in the air. The Herald's Rest was lively that night. It seemed like everyone in Skyhold had come in to celebrate the Inquisitor's triumph at the Winter Palace.  
  
“So. The Ambassador introduced you to her younger sister, did she?” Varric prodded.  
  
“Yes, but that doesn't mean anything, Varric,” Eli said dismissively.

“Mhmm. Okay. Why you insist on closing your eyes to the obvious is beyond me.”  
  
“Varric, she would have introduced me no matter what. You know that. And young Lady Montilyet's enthusiasm was just school-girl hero crush behavior on her part, not on the part of our Ambassador.”  
  
“Mm. Didn't you say she wanted to tell you embarrassing things about Ruffles' youth? People don't do that to their siblings when they're the ones crushing on you; people only tell those stories about the sibling that has the crush.”  
  
“Well said!” Krem shouted, drunkenly, clanging cups with Iron Bull.  
  
“Take it from the author. He's supposed to have an inkling of people's motivations after all,” Dorian chimed in.  
  
“Really, you all,” Eli said frustrated.  
  
“Shh, look who just walked in,” Dorian said in a stage whisper, elbowing Eli in the ribs.  
  
Leliana and Josephine had just walked in, and were still standing near the door trying to squeeze their way through the crowd.  
  
Eli experienced a confusing mix of both mortification and elation all at once. Frozen, Eli realized he was staring at Josephine when her eyes found Eli. Her face brightened and she waved from behind the crowd between her and their table. Eli waved a little sheepishly, and looked away quickly.  
  
Iron Bull leapt from the table, shouting with exaggerated pageantry, “Make way for Sister Nightingale and the Ambassador!” clearing a path with his body for the two to join the rest at the table.

Dorian got up and graciously offered his seat next to Eli to Josephine, who gracefully accepted. Bull led Leliana toward the bar, saying, “Come. I'll clear the way, and you can tell me what to get for you and the Ambassador.”  
  
Varric, trying to be smooth, started the conversation, “So, Ambassador, how was seeing your sister?”  
  
Eli shot Varric a deadly look which Varric pretended he didn't see.  
  
“Ah, thank you for asking. It was very nice. But I'm glad to be back. I do miss my family, of course, but sometimes, especially Yvette, she can be so trying at times. Sometimes I feel as if torn between worrying that I'm not there to make sure nothing happens, or if I don't want to be there so I won't know what's happening.”  
  
“I take it she's prone to getting into trouble,” Varric chuckled.  
  
“She could find trouble in a Chantry! No, I'm only joking. But she does let her romantic imagination run away with her at times. It leads her to … well, uncomfortable situations for the family.”  
  
“Sooo, certainly not a chip off the old block,” Varric said, using a definite and dismissive tone, trying to mask the irony intended for the rest of the table to catch.

Eli, who had been staying very still, trying not to look at anything, or anyone, looked up sharply at Varric with daggers in their eyes.  
  
Any other would have likely missed Varric's veiled jibe, but not Josephine. She felt a flash of panic, but it was not even a moment before Dorian came to the rescue; though she couldn't tell if he intended to save her from having to answer or if it was just incidental. “Ha! Everyone knows the one with the romantic imagination around here is Cassandra. When are you going to finish Swords and Shields for her anyway?”  
  
“Dorian!” Cassandra exclaimed.

A raucous round of laughter reverberated over the table, and as Varric answered Dorian with some excuse about lack of inspiration maybe coming to an end soon, Josephine covered by starting a conversation with Harding, inquiring about her family.  
  
Meanwhile Eli was trying not to even accidentally touch Josephine in any way. They were fairly cramped at the table, and with Krem and Dalish jostling each other in response to some inside joke, it was getting hard. Also, Eli could smell the aroma of black lotus coming from Josephine. Dark and musky, yet somehow also light and floral, mixed with Josephine's natural scent, it was intoxicating. Eli felt the rising desire to just touch Josephine, if only innocently – like maybe just the lightest brush of knees – it was becoming a fierce internal struggle not to relent, requiring all of Eli's focus.

“Hey Ink Pot, you falling into the fade, or is it a good dream?” Sera's voice cut across the table.

Eli snapped to attention. Everyone was chuckling, if not outright laughing. Except Josephine, who looked at Eli with concern. Softly touching Eli's forearm, she asked, “Are you feeling alright? Perhaps you need some air? I hear you've been reveling in here with Iron Bull since midday. No one can be expected to keep up flagon for flagon with the Bull.”  
  
Eli's body both wanted to jump up and flee, and at the same time, stay and melt into the touch of Josephine's hand. Eli managed to keep either from happening, and responded quickly, though not before Sera had started saying not so under her breath, but to no one in particular, “So, good dream, then.”  
  
“Thank you,” Eli said earnestly, risking looking directly into those gorgeous hazel eyes of Josephine's, in an attempt to keep her attention from whatever else Sera or anyone else might start saying. “But I haven't been fool enough to attempt that since we drank to dragons – ”  
  
“To dragons!” Iron Bull shouted downing whatever he was drinking now, the Chargers all echoing in response.  
  
Josephine's eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled in enjoyment of the enthusiastic company. Eli felt simultaneous disappointment and relief to feel her hand slip away as Josephine clapped her hands in approval.  
  
“To dragons!” she belatedly chimed while raising her cup, then taking a deep swill of the wine Leliana had brought from the bar for her. The table roared in approval.  
  
“To the Ambassador!” Iron Bull shouted.

“The Ambassador!” came the table echo.

“I really should come out and join you all more often,” said Josephine merrily. 

“We'd all be more than happy to receive you, Ambassador,” Varric intoned, dripping with innuendo.  
  
“I don't know, Ambassador, not that you're not welcome, but it can get pretty wild,” Krem warned jovially.  
  
“Don't let Josephine's demeanor fool you,” Leliana spoke up for the first time. “I can tell you firsthand, she's been known to do more than a few unseemly things during a night of carousing. Once, when we were in Orlais – ”  
  
“Leliana, no! In the tavern? Please. What's gotten into you?”  
  
Leliana chuckled, but let Josephine silence her. “Ok, Josie, fine. I'll save it for another time. Maybe when next we are all in the field together for some reason. For now, I can only assure you, our Ambassador is no stranger to drunken antics.” Groans of disappointment went around the table.  
  
That didn't really allay Josephine's mortification at the idea of any of those stories circulating ever, but at least it wouldn't be now. Krem had started recounting the story about the first time he heard Bull and a lover, mistook the cries of pain and came crashing in, to Krem and Bull's lover's embarrassment, if not the Bull's.  
  
Josephine fought the urge to put her hand back on Eli's arm. It felt so right when it was there. And when Eli looked at her she felt herself being drawn into their eyes. She'd intentionally withdrawn her hand, of course. She wasn't even sure how she let herself place it there in the first place. And she hadn't meant to imply that she wanted Eli to come outside with her. So foolish, these little slips she was making, she chastised herself. And Varric clearly knew. She just couldn't make out whether he alone knew how she felt, and was trying to draw her out; or if they all knew, and he was just making fun of her. After only one more glass of wine, Josephine knew she had to take her leave before she started to get drunk. She made her excuses and rose to leave.

Eli jumped to their feet in the gentlemanly fashion of rising when a lady stands. But then, realizing that of course this looked terribly awkward, since no one else had done so, tried to cover. 

“Um, may I escort you back? I wanted to talk to you about the newly arrived visiting nobles...”  
  
“Of course,” she replied, and with a nod of deference to the table, she walked toward the door.

Eli rushed to beat her to the door, hoping it didn't come off as awkward again, so that they could open the door for her, and followed her out into the night air.

“It can be so beautiful here, don't you think?” Josephine said looking up at the stars. Not waiting for an answer, “But I don't think I'll ever get used to the cold,” she said with a shiver, wrapping her arms around herself. 

Eli quickly removed their coat, and draped it over her shoulders. Josephine glanced at Eli, but they were looking forward as they walked side by side. “Thank you,” she said quietly. She found herself slipping her arm around Eli's before she could stop herself, and then realized she couldn't very well take it away now without being extremely awkward. Nothing for it, but to just go with it now, and hope she could just play it off as being a little tipsy and in need of a steady hand. For their part, Eli's heart leapt at her closeness. This time, they let the melting feeling creep in.  
  
Josephine took a meandering pace across the yard, and asked, “So, who did you want to talk about?”  
  
She felt Eli stiffen slightly, as they replied, “Well, actually, I kinda lied about that.”  
  
“Oh?” Hope was swelling in her heart, and yet she knew she was being foolish. She took a few subtly deep breaths to calm her nerves and hopefully slow her heartbeat.  
  
Eli's mind was racing. _Now what?_ Eli had no plan. Hadn't expected to find theirself in this position tonight, or any night, for that matter. What if Varric was right? And Sera had already as much as given her blessing, though she'd not outright commented on whether Josephine did actually like Eli, just that if she did, it would be fine.

“Honestly, I just needed to get out of there. They were never going to let me go until I needed them to carry me out. I'm sorry to use you as a ruse.” Eli winced in the darkness at this shading of the truth. It was all true, it just wasn't everything. _Such a coward_.

Josephine curbed her disappointment, and squeezed Eli's arm with her own. “Oh, that's alright; I quite understand,” she said, perhaps a little over brightly.

They climbed the steps to the main hall in silence. Eli was struggling with indecision. Or maybe it was just cowardice. When they'd reached the landing of the stairs just before entering the main hall, Eli knew in their heart they'd regret it if they left it like this. So Eli stopped and turned to face Josephine, breaking her hold on their arm. Looking her in the eyes, they said, “There's more, though.”  
  
Josephine held her breath and her hands, and waited.  
  
“I've … I feel we've been becoming closer – friends. Especially since we've been working together to raise up the DuParaquette family. And …”  
  
Josephine waited during the pregnant pause, resisting the urge to interject, even to say 'yes?'  
  
“And, well, I'd like us to spend a little more time together, if you don't object. It's not like with everyone else; I'm out in the field with them all the time, or training, or drinking. I feel like I don't actually know you very well, and I'd like to. I see how you and Leliana are, and it's lovely to see how close and easy you are with each other. I don't mean to insinuate that we could be the way you and Sister Nightingale are together; obviously, you've known each other for years. I just mean, I'd like you to know me better, and I, you. If you're amenable, do you think we could do that without breaking any rules of etiquette?”

Smiling, Josephine replied, “But of course, Inquisitor, it would be my pleasure.”  
  
They resumed walking into the main hall. Josephine wasn't sure how it was possible that she was feeling both elation and disappointment all at once. But there it was. It was distracting, and it was throwing her off her game.

Eli was in the middle of saying, “I have one more request, if you'd indulge me.”

Josephine only nodded in response.  
  
“I … Would you mind, could you please see your way to stop calling me by my titles?”  
  
“If you'd like; and you must stop using mine, then. Agreed?”  
  
“Absolutely. Agreed. I'll bid you good night then, Josephine?”  
  
Eli, in a flurry of spontaneity, and in a fluid if somewhat exaggerated way, bowed down, taking Josephine's hand and kissing it lightly. Josephine only barely suppressed a giggle of delight. If it had been a noble she would have been gracious, but it would have meant nothing, even if she did have a crush on them. But for Eli to do such a thing so out of their element, it was endearing, even if they were obviously joking a little bit.

“Good night, then, good sir,” she said in kind. 

Eli started to walk down the hall toward their quarters when Josephine called them back. “Oh wait, your coat!”  
  
Eli trotted back to retrieve it. “So much for a smooth parting!” they quipped.

Josephine smiled and stepped into the hall that led to her quarters still feeling that mixture of immensely happy, and also very sad. It felt to her that every step closer that they took, the more platonic everything seemed. And yet, not quite platonic. Always a little charge, always these little small things that Eli did that made it seem more than platonic. But also always so very distant. Like an impenetrable wall of cordiality. She caught herself. _What are you even thinking about this for? They were quite clear, they want to be friends. Friends, like Leliana, friends._ But the other part of her was still overjoyed that they were going to spend more time together.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh, the awkwardness of gender queer flirting and it makes Josephine giddy.

Josephine heard the Inquisitor jumping down the main hall outside her office and was just stifling a smile as she was giving her assistant instructions when the door burst open ( _as all these doors always do – I have to talk to Cullen about getting someone to do something about it,_ Josephine thought) and the Inquisitor walked in. The Inquisitor waited politely for her to finish.   
  
“I was hoping you could spare a few moments for us to talk. Privately...about a... personal matter. If not now, sometime today?”   
  
Josephine sensed some nervousness. Was it apprehension?   
  
“Certainly, your worship. If it can wait just a little, I need to get a few things out fairly urgently, but I can meet you in say, an hour? By privately, I assume you mean not the garden – nor here. Your quarters then?”   
  


The Inquisitor quickly nodded in agreement, and left.   
  
Josephine was actually beside herself with anticipation. Or curiosity. Or both. But she buckled down to the tasks at hand, so she could free herself to find out exactly what was on the Inquisitor's mind.   
  
She was actually done in less than 45 minutes, and rather than risk getting sucked into something that always ended up taking longer than she expected it to, she decided she'd just go see if the Inquisitor was available a little early. She gave a polite knock on the door, but didn't wait to enter. Near the top, as she was announcing herself, she caught the Inquisitor pacing the room and muttering to theirself.

“Your worship? I'm sorry to interrupt – I was done earlier than I expected, and I thought I'd – oh! never mind, I'll come back at the appointed time.”   
  
“No, Ambassador. Josephine. Please, come in. I apologize, I... well, please have a seat on the settee.”   
  
The Inquisitor walked back to their desk and brought their desk chair to sit across from Josephine. She caught herself feeling a little disappointed that they weren't going to sit by her side, as they did sometimes during their garden walks, but she thought she covered it in time.

Josephine waited patiently, as the Inquisitor sat across from her and fidgeted, clearly having trouble finding the right words to begin.   
  
“Josephine. I... I suppose you're wondering what on earth requires me to bring you up here, to interrupt you while you're working... getting all your important... work... done. Oh, I'm a mess, aren't I? Yes obviously, you're wondering, and obviously your work is important, and you do it so brilliantly, don't you? I'm just.. oh, shit. I'm nervous, obviously.”  
  
Josephine thought the Inquisitor was adorable. _Stop that!_ She scolded herself internally. She was so occupied trying to control her own thoughts, she couldn't really read what was going on. She nodded reassuringly, and continued to wait for the Inquisitor to find a way to get it out.   
  
The Inquisitor stood up abruptly. And then sat back down. They started to bite a nail, and then as if suddenly self conscious, dropped their hand. Their breathing was a little erratic, though not pronounced. Then the two of them started talking at the same time.

“Your worship –”  
“Josephine, I – ”   
  
“Inquisitor, please, go ahead.”   
  
“No, I, I'm having such a hard time, please, Josephine, I'm sorry to place the burden on you, when you don't even know why we're here, but perhaps you could start us off? You're so very good at easing social tension.”   
  
Josephine noticed the ego stroke, but clearly, this moment was not about her. In her most reassuring voice, she said, “Your worship, whatever it is that's troubling you, I assure you, I'm here to help assist you in whatever it is. And of course, you can count on my complete discretion, always.”  
  
The Inquisitor sounded relieved. “Josephine, oh, thank you. I mean, of course I know all that about you already, else, why would I have asked you here at all? But it is reassuring to hear you say it.”  
  
Josephine nodded in encouragement, and returned to waiting.   
  
“OK. Okay. I...” The Inquisitor changed tones from false assurance to one of an aside “ – I might take on an imperious tone, Josephine, and I just want you to know that I apologize ahead of time – sometimes the only way I can get things out is if I command myself to do it, and then the imperious tone in my head comes out of my mouth as well. Please, forgive me if that happens?”   
  
The Inquisitor waited for Josephine to nod in response, and then continued in a sort of mock confident way, the pitch of their voice dropping a note or two. “OK. Alright. I brought you here because I feel we're becoming closer – friends – and...” the confident tone was beginning to wane “and well, I think if we're to be true friends,” the tone was altogether questioning now, “that we need to talk about something” and now the tone was just meek “something about me.”  
  
Josephine was dying of curiosity now, but in truth, was also getting a little impatient, despite the fact that she did find the Inquisitor's behaviour completely adorable in spite of herself.

“ Whatever it is, if you want to share it with me, I'm honored, your worship. Please, do, continue, if you would.”  
  
“Look, Josephine, first of all, you must stop using titles to address me, especially when we're alone –” the Inquisitor rattled off; clearly this was not the issue, just something easier to get out. No strange inflections, imperious or meek, this time. If anything, maybe just, imploring.   
  
“I really, really, would appreciate it if you would please use my name. Because I want us to be friends. Good friends. Real friends. And friends use names, not titles. I've asked you before, as you know, and it hasn't seemed to have taken. Can you please try to do it?”  
  
Josephine responded immediately, but a little haltingly, “Yes of course! YourrrrrrEliastar” slurring the words together. She smiled sheepishly.   
  
“Just call me Eli. Or 'Asster-disaster' like Sera does. Sometimes when she's feeling particularly chummy, she shortens it to just Assturd. Or if she feels some kind of honorific is due, El Assturd. She really likes that one.”  
  
Josephine chuckled. “Oh that Sera. Don't even tell me whatever she calls me. Eli, then.”   
  
“Thank you, Josephine. There, now things feel a little more even keeled. I call you Josephine, you call me Eli. Or you can come up with your own nickname, if you like. Clearly, if I can take whatever Sera can muster, I can take any nickname you may conjure. Just no titles, from now on, alright?”  
  
“Agreed. Unless, of course, ceremony dictates – ”   
  
“Of course, blah blah blah proper form and all that rubbish. Yes. You know as well as I, that's not what I'm talking about.”

“ Yes. I do.” Josephine smiled. A genuine smile. She was glad the tension had been lifted. Or most of it, anyway. Maybe now they'd get to whatever she was really here for. And, truth be told, she liked the way saying the Inquisitor's – Eli's name out loud made her feel. Which was closer to them. Even if her rational self was screaming at her for being a foolish girl. It still felt kind of, well, yummy, in a comforting kind of way.   
  
“That's not really why you're here, though; of course you know that. Wow, look at me, I think I might actually get it out now!” they smiled broadly, and barreled on. “I know, that you know, that I identify as trans; I just don't know what you know about what that means. To me, particularly. And I know that you're way too polite to ever bring it up. And clearly, its awkward when I do. And, well, I really do want us to be real friends, Josephine. And I can't be close friends with someone who holds back questions out of politeness – I mean, when politeness gets in the way of us being close – do you see?”   
  
Eli paused slightly, wherein, Josephine nodded, and they continued, “so I wanted to make the space for you to ask questions. So here we are. Anything goes!” ending with a flamboyant flourish of the arm and a triumphant grin.   
  
Josephine was at a little bit of a loss. Of course she had a few questions. But she was also touched by the gesture. And she was scolding herself for entertaining that minute, not even quite formed hope that this was about something more intimate. _But of course_ , she thought immediately, _this is so very intimate as well. Just, differently._   
  
Eli started to get nervous during Josephine's pause. “Oh, but of course, it doesn't have to be now; maybe something will occur to you later – you can always –”  
  
“No, no, pardon me for interrupting, your – Eli. No, that's not it. I do have questions. But they... well, they're very personal; I mean, of course all the questions I had regarding pronouns, titles etc, obviously, the questions that were pertinent to official business are already answered. Ah, well, let's see,” she twittered nervously, “Oh! You see, now it's my turn to be awkward!”

“Oh, surely not you, Josephine. I could never imagine it. But, I apologize if I've put you on the spot – oh of course I have. I'm so thoughtless. I should have written, shouldn't I? I'm an oaf. I was so consumed with how important it was to me that we have this conversation, and distracted by my own nervousness, that I, well I clearly didn't think this through. This was selfish of me. I do, I sincerely apologize, my lady. Please, forgive me.”

And they stood up and bowed, a deep, sincere bow; not a courtly bow, full of flourishes and facetious duplicity, but one with such sincerity that Josephine knew Eli could never have pulled it off without looking awkward, unless it was fully meant.   
  
Josephine had another one of her moments that she was determined to suppress. So, she said sternly, “Eli, after all this talk of no more titles, and then what do you do? I mean, how can I possibly take that apology seriously?” Her eyes sparkled as she looked him in the eye and smiled. It was fun to watch Eli's demeanor change as they realized she was just playing. _Oh_ , _Andraste, what am I doing? This is dangerous,_ she thought. _Now I'm overtly flirting._

Eli smiled sheepishly. “Thank you for the note, Josephine; point taken. But I was indeed selfish, and–”  
  
“Think no more about it, Eli,” she interrupted, trying to pull herself together. “I am honored that you are willing to be so open with me. In truth, I do feel awkward though, as I do have questions that I don't feel are appropriate, yet, and –”  
  
“Yet? Please, Josephine, if not now, then never. Really, I meant it. Anything. I'm as curious to know what it is you might want to know from me, as perhaps you are to know the answers to whatever it is you're wondering. Please, go ahead.”  
  
 _Oh by all that is holy. What can I ask that doesn't make it obvious?_   
  
“Yes. Well, as I said, I...”   
  
The shoe was so entirely on the other foot now. Eli sat there across from Josephine, lithe like a cat, most of their tension gone, just a hint of anticipation. While Josephine was in knots. But she was determined not to take the easy way out and excuse herself.   
  
“I do feel awkward, because I feel the questions I have, well they pertain to … how you – I mean who you – or what kind of …”  
  
“You want to know what kind of people interest me? Or is it something more than that?”   
  
“People, yes. Let's start with people.”  
  
Eli chuckled slightly, but in a kind way, if maybe a touch patronizing. “I'm not terribly picky about who I have sex with, I have to admit,” Eli began. “But love? Like fall in love, love? Oh, very, very picky there. I must say, I have a severe weakness for strong and capable women. Extremely smart women. Women who are fully capable of handling just about anything on their own. And yet aren't afraid to, and are smart enough to know when and who to ask for help.”   
  
Josephine first thought of Cassandra. Then Leliana. Or maker forbid, Vivienne.   
  
“Yet, they also have a nurturing, supportive side...” _Okay, definitely not Vivienne._ “One that is open -- capable of being open. Emotionally open. Not to the world, but to the select few they feel safe with.” _  
  
_“Oh, and imagination. They need to have a healthy imagination. It keeps them playful.”  
  
Josephine considered quickly. “Clearly, class distinctions make no difference to you, do they?” she asked.   
  
“Not on my end, no. Maker knows, though, it matters to all sorts of other people, and that can get in the way sometimes, even when two people might not want it to, as you, I'm sure, are well aware of.”  
  
Josephine had been asking because she was thinking about all the people in Skyhold, workers, and refugees, but suddenly, the answer felt pointed, more meaningful than she had intended to divine. _What a stupid thing to have asked,_ she thought to herself, _How could I have forgotten that Eli used to be a Tevinter slave?Maker, how do I get out of this blunder? No, there's nothing to do but own up to it. Eli deserves honesty, not slippery gamesmanship._  
  
“Eli, I … I apologize profoundly. Here I am, asking idiotic questions with obvious answers, that have nothing to do with what you opened yourself up for. I feel so... foolish. I'm ashamed of myself, really, I am.”  
  
“Josephine,” Eli said, quietly but firmly, and gently leaning forward, as if they might take her hand, but then didn't, “Josephine, I told you anything goes. I'll not go back on my word, nor do I feel as if there's any need to. And it doesn't matter what you want to ask me about. Here, in this room, with just the two of us, I guarantee you, you are safe. There are no foolish questions. There is nothing to be ashamed about. I'm not testing you. I simply want us to get to know each other better, and given the state of our lives right now, we kind of have to force it a little more than perhaps is in either of our comfort zones. But I'm willing to take a few bumps on this road, if we're on it together. How do you feel about it?”  
  
“Well, I feel confident that I've proved you wrong about just how awkward I can be!” Josephine snarked. _Eli said 'safe'. They said how I feel. And I feel it so much._  


Eli smiled, a wide, open smile. “Well, Ambassador, I do believe you have won that bout. I humbly concede.” They made an exaggerated bow of the head while still in their chair.   
__  
“And, I am more than willing to share this road with you, sir,” Josephine said with a flourish, but then just as quickly gasped. “Oh, and now I've just as quickly dumped a bucket again. I apolo... well, actually this brings up something I have been wanting to ask, and it actually does have something to do with gender. May I?” Josephine was talking faster, her sense of propriety fading away in the wake of intellectual curiosity.  
  
“Please, yes, let's have this one.”   
  
“You know what's coming? Of course you must have an inkling – oh anyway – I, well I want to respect that your pronoun is 'They' – and I know, obviously, there's a 'but' coming and that never bodes well, but I'm going to go on anyway – I often really feel like I respond to you as if you are male. And then other times I respond to you as if you are female. I can see that that's a product of binary conditioning. But at the same time, in those specific moments, its not that you are both at the same time, nor are you neither. In those moments, again, to me, you are quite definitively one or the other.”  
  
Slight pause.   
  
“And I guess I'm having trouble using 'they' in those moments. Can you help me see you as you see yourself in those moments? I think it would help me immeasurably.”  
  
Silence. Eli's face was frozen.   
  
“Oh dear. Eli, I – ”   
  
As soon as she had started talking again Eli's face broke into empathetic concern and then quickly into a warm smile, “No, stop, please, dear Josephine, stop, it's fine. I'm just... so impressed. You really do, you never cease to impress me. That was seriously advanced for a first time foray into gender identity questions...”  
  
“I, I admit, I did a little reading on the subject...”

“ Of course you did. I did just say you never cease to amaze me, didn't I? I did. You are a well in the wilderness, you are.”   
  
Josephine felt the stroke to her ego, almost as if on her skin, but she pressed on, “Eli, really, you flatter too much. And you're not answering. It's an earnest question.”  
  
“It's a very good question, Josephine. And one that is both easy for me to answer, and difficult to answer. Part of the answer is, you're totally right, it absolutely is binary gender conditioning. And that makes it difficult for everyone. Even me, sometimes. I think, because we live in a world that is dominated by binary gender thinking, we learn to associate almost everything in binary terms, especially in languages like in Orlais and Antiva, where objects are assigned gender identities, not just people. It becomes hard to separate ourselves from the way reality is assigned everywhere, if you get my meaning. So in actuality, I live in constant gender identity flux. I'm constantly shifting from one place to another. Sometimes I'm at a polar end – definitely male identified, and sometimes the other end. But most of the time, I'm dancing around somewhere in between. And moving around all the time.”   
  
“That's just me though. Obviously, Krem likely has a totally different answer, if you were ever to get the opportunity to broach the subject with them, without breaching good form and all that.”  
  
“Oh, well that's actually quite usefully visual for me... Except... I still ...”  
  
“I know, that's just the part where I answered your literal question 'how do I see myself'? The answer to your unspoken question 'but what do I do?' is that actually, in private, you can use whatever pronoun or gendered word you want for me, on two conditions. One, that you use more than one gender on a regular basis, which actually, from what it sounds like, you're not going to have a problem with. And two, you must work very hard to ensure you don't slip up in public. In public, I'm always 'they'. It's too confusing for most people, otherwise.”  
  
“Yes, I see that. Ah, well, I wholeheartedly agree to your terms. And I am truly honored you entrust me with this privilege, Eli. Thank you.”   
  
“I am the one honored, Josephine. I think I'll start calling you 'My Well' for short,” Eli chuckled.   
  
“You will most certainly not!” _oh Andraste protect me, I'm flirting again._

“ Oh, now I'm certain I will, My Well!”   
  
“Maker's breath, what will Sera do with that?” Josephine snorted.   
  
“No idea, but I'm dying to find out.”   
  
With that, Josephine excused herself. So much work. But in truth, she needed to flee. _Before I can't stop myself. And I think he, no, they. She? Oh I'm actually not sure. Maybe all of the above. This may be harder than before. Anyway, was Eli flirting with me too? No. Must've just been friendly banter to ease the tension. Just a nickname, nothing more. They all have nicknames._

\----------------------  
  
That night, after crawling in bed, Josephine picked up a novel, and held it unopened for several long moments, and then put it down. She got her journal out instead and then found herself poised with pen in air, droplets of ink splattering the page. She couldn't settle her thoughts enough to get anything down before they were long gone, lost down a long trail of thoughts too numerous and scattered to follow on paper.   
  
Finally, she slowly started to write.   
  
_I feel I must record something. Today feels too momentous to let slip away without writing anything in memoriam. And yet. It's so hard to nail down which parts. Perhaps just bullet points? As they come to me, in no particular order._  
  
Eli said I'm safe with them.   
  
Eli. Eli insisted, absolutely insisted I call them Eli. Well, anything but a title. And it feels good when I do. I can literally feel it, almost physically but I'm not sure where it comes from. Comforting feeling.   


_Well!_ ~~_He_ ~~ _yes, he, – they gave me permission didn't they? My journal should count as private. I have to practice somewhere. If not here, then surely nowhere – Anyway, he called me his well in the wilderness.  
_

_I wonder why I gender that desire as coming from the masculine? Because I want them to be masculine? Surely, this must be more about me than it is about them... Does it actually matter to me that I'm special to specifically his masculineness as opposed to any other aspect? Well, this is interesting._  
  
Or do I think only men would need a well in the wilderness? A woman would just find a stream or some other body of water! Rationally, that's much more appealing, but I'm going to have consider my internal desires more I fear. I wonder what Eli would say? Should I ask? Maybe that's intrusive. Maybe it's my responsibility to figure this out for myself. It is I suppose, but what's wrong with asking for help?   
  
Oh! Eli said they like strong women that know how to ask for help. Yes, I'll ask for help. Oh but, they did say, and knowing when to ask for help. Maybe not yet. 

 

_Eli said safe. I said that already. I'm going in circles._

 

_Circles. Yes. Actually, I think I'm giddy. Andraste, help me. I am. I'm giddy.  
_

Josephine started to do some measured breathing, part of her Bardic training. She needed to center herself. Get grounded. She went through a few exercises from training. And after, she resumed her journaling.   
  
_I admit:_ _I have feelings for Eli. Strong feelings.  
And I admit: I very much wish them reciprocated. _  
  
She stared at her own admissions in writing. It was actually hard to look at. _  
  
Why is that so hard to admit? I've known it for some time now. Why?  
I fear they are not. Will not be. _  
  
Again, a long pause, while she read and re-read her own words. “Obviously,” she muttered to herself. _  
  
What is the worst thing that will happen if your fears are true?  
I will be heartbroken. No, that is not true. I fear I will be heartbroken. What is true is that it means we will be friends, but only friends.   
  
Because my feelings are not merely romantic. They are, and yet they are more. I could love them in any number of ways. I suppose I must admit this too. I already do. Love. Them.  
  
_That was hard for Josephine. But somehow, she also felt relieved, now that she admitted it openly to herself. She didn't need to struggle against it any more. It just was.   
  
That was enough journaling for today, she told herself. She was exhausted. How draining it is to pull your own emotional truths out of yourself, while you kick and scream and fight against yourself. And, she added to herself, after spending half the day giddy out of your mind. She should probably check some of the work she did after she came down from Eli's quarters. Maker knows what kind of careless mistakes she might have made. But not now. Too exhausted to do any good. First thing in the morning though. __  
  


 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post - Minister Bellise, Of Somewhat Fallen Fortune  
> Leliana uses her superpowers to psych out Josephine

After a quick knock, Leliana came into Josephine's office. “A minute, Josie?” she asked, closing the door quietly behind her.   
  
“Of course, 'Liana. Do we need to lock the door?”  
  
Leliana chortled, “No, I think I can be quick enough. It's about the Inquisitor's visit to Minister Bellise.”  
  
Josephine's eyebrow arched. “Go on. I take it it's not a catastrophe, they way you're smirking.”  
  
“Well, I hear the minister was very disappointed...”  
  
Josephine started to worry after all. “What do you mean? What happened?”  
  
Leliana started to giggle. “Turns out she completely gave our Inquisitor an opening dragons could fly through, and they flat out turned her down. Apparently, the minister was very curious about some rumors regarding the Inquisitor's bedroom skills. But the Inquisitor did secure the minister's promise to elevate the Du Paraquettes, so don't worry, Josie, the Inquisitor remains your hero, if not exactly a conquering one. Metaphorically speaking, of course. And it is going to cost you a few favors, since the Inquisitor seems to be saving theirs for –”  
  
Josephine was so worried, and then relieved that she didn't quite absorb Leliana's ribbing, and then she suddenly caught on, interrupting, “Leliana, stop trying to be cute. You know very well I am judiciously trying to ignore my … well, any tendencies. And now, certainly, you!”   
  
Leliana burst out in full blown laughter and fled out the door as Josephine threw imaginary paperweights at her.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Of Somewhat Fallen Fortune is over. Immediately after, Josephine pays Leliana a visit for a reality check

Leliana's eyes narrowed. “What did they do?”   
  
Josephine sighed exasperatedly, “They didn't do anything. Exactly. I, I merely got flustered when the Inquisitor responded to my thanks with, 'Such a gracious woman deserves nothing less.' That's clearly flirting, no? Not just playful banter? Damn it, Leliana, help me. You know I can't really think clearly about this!”   
  
“Mhm,” Leliana replied pensively, “Knowing our Inquisitor, I think it was just playful banter Josie. They do have a bit of a reputation. I mean, it has reached Val Royeaux, even if they did shut down the minister.”   
  
“Oh.” She was a little disappointed, but she tried to cover, though she knew Leliana would see right through her. “Yes, of course you're right. Thank you, Liana. Alright, I need to get back to my – ”  
  
“Oh Josie, do you mind, if you do see the Inquisitor on your way down, I received some information that needs their immediate attention; can you let them know I'm looking for them?”   
  
“Yes, of course. Let's have a late dinner together, shall we?”  
  
“Sure, Josie.”   
  
On the way down the stairs from the rookery, Josephine considered what was going on with the Inquisitor using Leliana's platonic perspective. Josephine was quite sure that the Inquisitor was a good, and worthy friend. Even though Leliana's plan would have been so much easier for the Inquisitor, personally, and indeed, would have been faster, the Inquisitor steadfastly held true to their word, and had backed her plan all the way, and personally had spent so much time helping her bring it to fruition. She couldn't have been more sincere when she told them how grateful she and her whole family were. And of course, Leliana must be correct. _After all, Leliana's been teasing so much about it, it doesn't make sense that there's actually anything behind it. If Leliana had any inkling that there was something going on she wouldn't be giving me such a hard time._ _I'm probably blowing the whole thing out of proportion because I got flustered and blushed. Profusely._

 _Ridiculous, as usual. And now, now it's starting to unravel. I must, must get it together if we are to be friends, as we both want. I need to find a way to be a loving friend, instead of hopeful lover. Maybe then I can take the banter more in stride._   
  


 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josephine's mad as hell and she ... well, she'll take it.

Josephine stormed into the rookery.   
  
“Oh, Josie, it's much too early for dinner yet, I – ”  
  
“Oh there will be no dinner for us tonight, at least not together. I cannot believe you! Not only did you... Liana you purposely misdirected me, didn't you? Admit it!”  
  
“Josie, I … well, yes, I did. I thought it was for the best. Honestly I think it still might. I'm not sure I trus – ”  
  
“You!? You trust? You, who told me to trust my own instincts? And what does your trust have to do with it, when I no longer have reason to trust you?”  
  
“Well, I did also say at the same time that I would be looking out for you and keeping an eye on them.”  
  
“This? This is how you look out for me? By purposely sabotaging my relationship? – or well, whatever it is or isn't, or may become... Whatever. – And you tried to scare Eli off too! Oh, I'm sure that was some urgent message! Back off Josephine or I'll slit your throat in the middle of the night! You, You, Oh! I'm so angry I can't even think of a single name awful enough to describe you right now!”   
  
Josephine plopped down onto a stool and crossed her arms. It was clear she was running out of steam, and she knew that Leliana knew as well that she would forgive her. Eventually. She just wanted it to last as long as she could.   
  
“And really, 'an innocent in love'? Could you have been any more patronizing?” She wasn't yelling any more; now it was just pouting.   
  
Leliana struggled to keep the smirk invisible, as she replied softly, “You are the one who was just up here earlier asking me if they were really flirting with you, were you not?”   
  
“Ohrraaargh, that's not fair!” volume rising before dropping again, “You know why … Oh just forget it! … Fine! Whatever! Fine.”   
  
She was nearly out of gas. She started to mutter softly in Antivan. Cussing like a sailor, and curses, too, though not serious ones.   
  
Leliana dared approach now, quietly, gently, as though she were approaching one of her newborn nugs. She stood behind Josephine and held her gently by the shoulders and said quietly, “If it's any consolation, our Inquisitor didn't seem at all deterred by my not so veiled threats that they best not toy with you. They were quite adamant with me that they are actually very serious about you.”   
  
Josephine harrumphed, loudly, as she reached for one of Leliana's hands on her shoulder.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a snippet

Josephine could hear Sera in the dining hall. “So yeah, I think I've got it, yeah? You're Inky, so she's your well, right? Inkwell? That's it inn't? Blegh, that's sooo cutesy, it hurts!”  
  
Josephine smiled, and appreciated that Eli hadn't told Sera, and it was torturing her, if ever so slightly. It wasn't going to make up for the bucket on the door, but then again, she had to get Eli for that too.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Heraldry from a Herald/Pre-Otranto duel  
> Pablo Neruda is the best

_How thoughtful Eli is,_ she thought as she admired the crest once again _._ Josephine placed the crest carefully back on the shelf behind her desk.  
  
_But what's that?_ From this angle looking up at it from her chair, she could see a slip of parchment folded up so small and placed inside the vessel. She carefully pulled it out and unfolded it. On it, there was a poem or a quote, she wasn't exactly sure.  
  
_“Our love is like a well in the wilderness where time watches over the wandering lightning. Our sleep is a secret tunnel that leads to the scent of apples carried on the wind. When I hold you, I hold everything that is–swans, volcanoes, river rocks, maple trees drinking the fragrance of the moon, bread that the fire adores. In your life I see everything that lives.” - Pablo Neruda_

Josephine felt butterflies. Everywhere. __  
  
This is what Eli was referencing! It's so... so... romantic yes, but the passion! She smiled to herself as she thought _I should really ask them if they know if they have any Antivan ancestry. They clearly have an Antivan soul. And I took it so literally, as if they just meant a cool drink of water where it's unexpected or hard to find. I mean, that was apropos for the moment, but this, this is so much more than that._  
  
By Andraste's tears, I think my heart will burst, it's so full right now... I should go find him.  
  
Josephine went out into the main hall and asked the first companion she could find. __  
  
“Left a few hours ago; said they had to run an errand in Val Royeaux,” Varric shrugged. “Said they'd be back by tomorrow.” _An 'errand'?_  
  
She ran up to the rookery. “Leliana, do you know – ”  
  
“I do, Josie. Sit down.”  
  
“I will not, Liana. By Andraste's – if you've done something to – Tell me what you know. Now!”  
  
\----  
  
Josephine was already flying down the stairs as she shouted over her shoulder, “So help me Liana, if something happens to them, I will NEVER forgive you!”  
  
“Josie! Josie, if you're planning on going out there alone... You can't...” And under her breath, “ – damn it all,” and then she shouted down, “Wait! I'm coming with you!”  
  
Leliana scribbled an order for fresh horses to be readied at the waypoint between Skyhold and Val Royeaux, and sent out the raven before rushing down the stairs after Josephine.  
__  
\----  
  
Josephine had always been a good rider, but it had been awhile since she'd been at full gallop, and never for this long. She hadn't even packed anything, just grabbed a cloak from her quarters and then down to the stables, where she found Leliana already preparing the two fastest mounts.  
  
“Come if you must, but don't expect me to talk to you. Arggh, I mean really, Leliana, they'll never survive an Orlesian duel. Are you trying to get them killed?”  
  
Leliana had stifled a chuckle, but still said, “Well, I'm quite sure the Inquisitor will have me killed if anything happens to you while you're on this rampage.” Josephine scowled back in response. __  
  
“Oh, and the In-quis-i-tor,” she mocked, “they have an earful coming to them as well! I told them I was handling it! How dare they undermine me! Arrggh! Engaging in this ridiculous Orlesian fashion of treating me like something that can be owned and passed around to winners of duels!”  
  
“I rather think the Inquisitor thought it would appeal to your romanticism,” Leliana teased.  
  
“My romanti – This isn't about me, this is about the Inquisition!” She continued, mocking Leliana's cadence, “I rather think Corypheus is just a bit more important than whether or not I have to break off an engagement! What happens if they get killed during this duel! You know very well, the Inquisitor has absolutely no skills with rapiers, no training in the rules of noble fencing!”

“ Honestly, Josie, what's far more likely is that the Inquisitor will break the rules of the duel out of ignorance or survival and end up forfeiting. But dead? No, if it comes down to that, they'll just slit Otranto's throat with a dagger.”  
  
Leliana was right. By the Maker, she was. And what a disaster that would be! Not just for her family, but for the Inquisition! And Josephine would be at the center of the controversy. How would she be able to fix it, if she were the subject of the scandal in the first place! Near impossible. She had to stop the duel!  
  
She rode like Corypheus and every demon in the fade were behind them.  
  


 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Duel, mega add-on to the couch snuggling.   
> Josephine resets. Let the sexy begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, it's super long, but this is mostly the end. I've got a post script that wraps up some gender stuff, but I'm not ready to post it. I've got so much to clean up in the middle -- and I've got to write the Krem chapter still. Anyway, thanks for sticking with it to the end. Leave me your comments!

“I really don't know how you could possibly have not already known that I love you,” Eli said to Josephine while they snuggled in front of the fire after the duel. “I mean, really, what more did I need to say to you? 'Our love is like a well in the wilderness where time watches over the wandering lightning' and 'In your life I see everything that lives' wasn't enough? I really couldn't think of a better way to have said it.”  
  
“Oh my love, but it's still not the same as when you just say it simply, face to face, no? Or for that matter, in front of all of Val Royeaux! Ooo, but do read it aloud to me again. The whole thing!”   
  
Josephine heard an echo of Leliana's teasing in her mind. _“...appeal to your romanticism.” I have to admit it's true. Just look at me, cooing like a young girl. Is this really me? Obviously, it is, but..._  
  
“I think I can do better than that,” Eli was murmuring in Josephine's ear.   
  
“Wait.” Josephine said firmly, breaking the mood. Eli looked at her quizzically, but waited patiently, as she sat up and faced them.   
  
“My love. I cannot deny that your declaration of love in front of everyone on the plaza swept me off my feet. And...” she paused, _what exactly am I trying to say?_ “well, Leliana pointed out to me that you probably thought that I would find dueling romantic, and since I've already gone on about how exciting it was, I cannot pretend to deny it.”   
  
“Buuuut...?” Eli injected into the silence.  
  
“Well,” she sighed, “frankly, I'm disappointed in you as well. How could you not see how you were undermining me? My agency, my independence?” She waited to see Eli's reaction.   
  
Their face dropped in recognition. “Ah. Yes. I see. I do, I see. Now. ... A little too late, now, I guess, isn't it,” they said regretfully as a statement of recognition, not rhetorically at all. Eli looked at her apologetically.   
  
“And,” she went on, “while I don't expect you to have been able to foresee all the ramifications clearly on your own, I am disappointed you didn't know that you had to discuss the possible ramifications of participating in such a duel with your Ambassador first; that there were political ramifications for the Inquisition that could have been very difficult to deal with: ranging from completely undermining my credibility as Ambassador, to simply having fallout for the Inquisition that I would not be able to deal with directly, as the subject of such a scandal. Honestly we're very lucky that Otranto was gracious enough to just bow out, allowing you, us, and by extension, the Inquisition, to, well, come out like lotus blossoms.”   
  
“Ah.” Eli nodded pensively.   
  
“My love, you're usually much more astute than this, and well, confident in your advisors. Or, have you lost confidence in me?”  
  
“What? Maker, no!” Wherever Eli had gone, they were suddenly present, and panicked. “No, never, Josie. You are the most adept, graceful, and strategic Ambassador in all of Thedas. Please, no, I would never lose confidence in you.”  
  
“Then what happened?”   
  
“That's what I'm trying to … – I lost perspective. I think. Well, that's actually obvious, isn't it... I, well, this just sounds stupidly cliché, but I think the truth of it is, I don't think I can think clearly when it comes to you.” Eli looked up sheepishly at Josephine. She eyed them carefully and saw there was no gamesmanship in this answer.   
  
She drew Eli into her arms, and whispered, “I think that makes two of us.”   
  
\-----  
  
Josephine felt like she was floating upwards. She slowly realized she was just waking up, still half in the land of her dreams. The more the realization took hold, the more awake she was, the floating sensation fading away. Eli's arms were still cradled around her; and her neck was stiff, she recognized, as she lifted her head from their shoulder. They'd fallen asleep together on the couch in front of the fire. Eli's eyes were heavy lidded as they opened, her stirring having seemed to have roused them.   
  
“Buon giorno, amore mio,” she whispered, nuzzling them on the cheek, her lips brushing against Eli's jawline ever so lightly as she spoke.   
  
“Mmmmm, Josephine,” Eli beamed as they arched their back and stretched their arms high. “What a delicious way to start the day... You know, I feel so full this morning, and yet, I'm starving! Why is that?” they said playfully. “Oh, I know, I'm in love!” Eli grabbed Josephine's hand and kissed her palm, making her giggle. _Dammit, always with the giggling!_  
  
As if they read her mind, Eli asked, “Really, love, is it sooo bad that I make you giggle?” And now they were tickling her.   
  
She loved this, she admitted to herself, but she feigned a stern attitude, “Stop now. I have to go downstairs,” but she couldn't even get it out before she was giggling again. “No, really, now, I have so much work to do. I haven't been here for days now. Do you really want all of Skyhold to starve because I haven't managed to procure the supplies we need?”   
  
“My dear Ambassador,” Eli mocked, “I think we've already established my confidence in your capabilities. That confidence absolutely extends to your ability to choose your assistants wisely!”   
  
Josephine smiled, but responded, “But it's been days now; I really must at least check in. There's only so much they can do without me. And besides, I need a fresh change of clothes. In fact, I better go before all of Skyhold is awake and sees me coming out of your quarters like this.”  
  
“All of Skyhold already knows, Josephine. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if all of Orlais knows by now. And for all Orlais thinks Fereldan is a backwater, I'm sure Fereldan isn't far behind. So nice try, but it's too late for decorum now. Oh, fine, just in case – ” and Eli ran to the balcony and belted out at the top of their lungs, “Hear ye, Hear ye: The Inquisitor and Ambassador Montilyet are in love!” to Josephine's mortification. She was just gathering her wits, when, as if it wasn't bad enough already, “Oh! And, they're taking the day off! Please do not disturb! Thank you, all!”  
  
Josephine grabbed a pillow and started to chase Eli around the room. When she caught them, she repeatedly hit them on the head with it. “If you <whomp> think <whomp> you can trap <whomp> me <whomp> up here with your <whomp> childish <whomp> attempts <whomp> at humiliation <whomp> you <whomp> have another <whomp> thing coming!” <whomp>  
  
Eli was on the floor now from mock injury, and hysterical laughter, holding their hands over their head. “Mercy! Mercy! I concede!”   
  
Josephine straightened up, and made mock-motions of fixing her hair. “First, I have little brothers. Don't think I can't handle you. Second, I was a bard. Don't think I don't know how to hold my head high in the morning after a night of pleasure.” And she headed for the stairs, walking with exaggerated pride.   
  
She stopped after descending a few steps and cocked her head back, saying without affectation and a smile, “I shall return by midday's meal, though.” And then, teasing, “If you will still be free, of course, your worship,” her eyes twinkling.   
  
Eli blew her a kiss, replying, “Always, for you, My Well.”  
  
\----  
  
Josephine did make it to her quarters if not unseen, then at least mercifully undisturbed. She quickly changed, and went to her office where her assistant was just sifting through the late night raven messages. If her assistant had heard Eli's pronouncement, she made not a sign. Josephine asked her assistant to please keep anyone from disturbing her (unless it was somehow truly dire) and to please let her know when it was one hour before midday's meal.   
  
It seemed as though her assistant had just left when she came back in to let Josephine know the time. Josephine sighed. _Well, at least all the truly urgent ravens are out, or ready to go, and I've organized what needs to be done first thing tomorrow._ She paused, taking a moment to process a little. _It's as if everything's changed all of a sudden. Have I changed? I can't believe I was pillow fighting this morning. I haven't done something like that since the last time with Antoine before I became a Bard. It feels so natural to play with Eli. But that's not me changing, that's... letting go. Yet, everything has changed, hasn't it? I feel so... so at ease. I don't have to battle my self any more. And I'm not afraid. Because I know now. Eli loves me._ Her heart swelled.   
  
\---  
  
Josephine lightly hopped the steps to Eli's quarters to find Eli rushing around. The room, though not exactly in disarray, was rearranged. And there was a distinct aroma of lotus. Eli looked up and exclaimed, “Josephine! You're early! Oh, you're always early, I should have known; but I'm not ready!”   
“Oh well, by all means, I can come back – ” and she started to turn, but she knew they'd call her back.

 

“ No! Wait! Please, come back. I didn't mean it like that. I just, well I just wanted everything to be finished, if not perfect.”  
  
“What exactly is going on up here?” She began to promenade through the room. There was a bathtub filled in front of the fire, with floating blood lotus petals, a faint trace of steam still rising. There was a table that didn't used to be up here covered in food. Mostly fruit, cheese, hunks of different meats and bread. Several bottles of wine. Water jugs. And the special Orlesian cakes she loved so much – _Where did those come from? I didn't have those brought in._  
  
“You didn't bring these back from Val Royeaux yourself, did you?”  
  
“I wish I could take the credit, Love, but truth be told, Leliana brought them back for you – she said something about a peace offering.”  
  
“Mhm, we'll see about – oh, mmm but these are so divine...” she said nibbling on one of the cakes.   
  
Eli grinned. Josephine reached out with cake in hand, “You must try it. Here,” and she fed some of the cake to Eli. “Mmmm, oh, you're right, that's so good!” they said, licking their lips.   
  
She continued scanning the room while still nibbling and trading bites with Eli. A stack of candles not yet placed, a bucket of blood lotus flowers, which, she realized is what Eli was doing when she came in. They had been in the process of plucking the petals, and she surmised the intention was to spread them across the bed.   
  
“Oh, yeah, that's what I uh, yeah, I wasn't quite finished there; just managed to get some in the bathwater as you arrived,” Eli said quickly. “But never mind, it's not the most crucial element. You're here. And that's all I need. I hope it's to your liking?”   
  
“Oh, che bella! But, I fear you are going to spoil me.”  
  
Eli smiled and began brightly, “Well, if I'm going to, now's the time. I can't be Inquisitor forever, and now that your family is back on it's way to riches, before long, it'll be you who will have to do the spoiling. Assuming of course, that I'm still around...”   
  
“Don't talk like that.”   
  
“I just mean – ”   
  
“Don't ruin the moment by inviting doom.”   
  
Eli's tone shifted softer. “No my love, I meant, you may tire of me.”  
  
That eased Josephine, a little anyway. “Impossibile,” she said with a wave of her hand and a shake of her head. “Don't talk like that either.”  
  
Eli grinned, but Josephine was still considering what they'd said. The class distinctions were an issue, as she had inadvertently brought up before. But, Eli was the Inquisitor, and that was going to go a long way, even if they stepped down eventually. But she knew in her heart already, she would let nothing, and no one, not in this world or any other, keep them apart any longer. Not ever.   
  
Turning her mind to the present, she asked, “Do you mind if I get in the bath while it's still warm?”  
  
“Of course! Yes, please, enjoy.”   
  
“You'll join me, of course.”

 

“Oh? Am I invited?” Eli said playfully. “Absolutely, then.”   
  
Leliana may have been technically correct, she was innocent in 'love,' but Josephine was no stranger to seduction. Her years as a bard had schooled her well in this respect, and she knew how to use the power of her sexuality. She just didn't bring it out in her role as Ambassador. So after lifting off her chain of office and setting it down on the table, as she began to untie her sash and the belt that held her waist cincher she was fully aware that Eli would be watching her. She kept her movements fluid, her eyes on Eli's, watching them, as they watched her drop each item on the ground, one by one.   
  
Josephine stepped closer to Eli, not so much taking her waistcoat off as slinking out of it with a subtle dropping of her shoulders and a step forward, as if it just stayed behind on its own, falling softly to the floor as she reached for Eli's tunic. “May I?”   
  
Eli nodded. Eli's hands traced the contours of her waist and came to rest on Josephine's hips while Josephine untied the string that held the front of the tunic, and spread the collar out to loosen it. She deftly lifted the shirt over Eli's head and dropped it on the ground.   
  
Eli's eyes closed as Josephine ran her hands sensuously over Eli's shoulders. She noted the numerous scars, some so faint you could barely see them, and others raised and dark. She could sense Eli's self-consciousness starting to rise, so she turned around and said, “Would you, my love?” indicating the clasp on the back of her blouse.   
  
As Eli reached up releasing the clasp, Josephine removed her cravat. Eli opened the back of her blouse spreading it open by running their hands outward on her back. She shuddered from their touch, suddenly tingling everywhere. She pulled the blouse off from the front and as Eli's hands softly brushed her back, Josephine felt like her whole torso was humming.   
  
She turned and closing the distance between them, plunged into a long, slow kiss, their tongues exploring each others, their torsos skin on skin for the first time. Josephine felt as though she was falling, or maybe it was floating, because if it was falling, their was no end to it, so floating then, inside that kiss, as if it had a life and a world of its own. Like she could live inside that kiss. Inside that kiss time no longer existed. A minute, an hour, a lifetime, they all blended together as if there was no difference between them. Eventually, she broke away, her heart pounding so hard she could feel her pulse in her fingertips, she thought if she didn't, she might actually get so lightheaded she'd have to sit down. And she didn't want to have to sit down.   
  
“Wow,” Eli whispered.   
  
Eli opened their eyes slowly and looked into hers. Josephine felt the whole of her self might melt into those eyes, and if it did, it would be the best thing in the world. “Ti adoro, amore mio, ti adoro.”   
  
“And I, you, my love. Everything about you.”  
  
Still gazing into her eyes, though now theirs were twinkling, Eli quipped, “Why Ambassador, I do believe you've been holding out on us. You should have told us all you had magical powers.”  
  
“Oh! Was that me? I thought it must be you,” she said coyly.  
  
“Us, then.”   
  
“Mhmmm,” she said, backing up just a half step, “Yes... us,” tracing a finger down Eli's rippling abs, and the faint treasure trail from their navel to... she tugged playfully at the top of Eli's breeches with her fingertip.   
  
“But the bath! Come, take off your breeches and join me.” She turned, slipping out of her shoes and her own breeches. Facing the tub, she bent from the waist, knees straight, her ass held high, slowly rolling her stockings off.   
  
Eli did not disappoint. They were naked behind her before she could finish, holding her at the hips and pressing their own into her ass. “You are exquisite,” Eli was saying as Josephine straightened up and twisted around in their arms.   
  
“You, always with the flattering too much,” she smiled playfully, tapping the bottom of Eli's chin with the side of her forefinger and giving them a peck on the lips. She wasn't flustered now; no, she had complete control of the situation this time, even if she did have butterflies. This was a game she definitely knew how to play.  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hat tip to jtav “Proper Etiquette” for the cakes


End file.
